


Always Darkest Before The Dawn

by SerStolas



Series: We'll Meet The Dawn [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Draven is still an asshole, F/M, Frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-01-18 09:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12385821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerStolas/pseuds/SerStolas
Summary: Cassian Andor was declared KIA two standard years, one month, and sixteen days ago, not that Jyn Andor is counting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Star Wars belongs to Disney/LucasArts

_3 ABY_

Jyn Andor stood at attention before General Davits Draven, Mon Mothma, and Princess Leia Organa, expression unreadable as they stood at the front of the group of Rebellion personnel in the half-empty hanger on the ice planet of Hoth. She was vaguely aware of A-Wing pilot Ensign Bodhi Rook standing to her left, and Baze Malbus and Chirrut Îmwe standing to her right. Somewhere behind her, Shara Bey and Jyn's own commanding officer, Kes Dameron, stood.

The words spoken by Mon Montha and General Draven flowed over Jyn like water over a stone, wearing at the surface, but doing little to impact the core. She heard the words, but she wasn't actually listening to them. She'd stopped listening to their platitudes and their sympathy after Draven had advised her that her husband, Captain Cassian Andor of Rebel Intelligence, was dead, presumed captured and killed while on a mission.

Except in front of the crew of Rogue One, Jyn had maintained a neutral expression, refusing to let the Rebellion as a whole see her grief. 

Jyn had learned while she was with the Parisians that grief could eat you alive, and she wouldn't let it do that to her. Nor would she let anyone see it as a possible weakness to exploit.

In private, she had her tears, in the comforting arms of her brother-in-heart, Bodhi, and in the comforting silence of Baze, or the quiet meditation that Chirrut led her in.

She mourned Cassian, she missed him dreadfully, but he'd given his life for the Rebellion, fighting against the Empire, for a cause he believed in wholeheartedly. She would honor his memory by continuing to fight for the Rebellion. Whether or not she made it out on the other side when all was said and done was another matter, but she wouldn't go looking for death, Cassian wouldn't have wanted her to.

She stood straighter as General Draven approached her and reached a hand out to her, something dangling from his fingers. Silently, she reached out to take the object, and found herself holding the spare set of Cassian Andor's ID tags. There was genuine sympathy in Draven's expression as he handed them to her, and she was aware he was saying something quietly to her, expressing his sorrow for her loss.

Mechanically, Jyn responded with her own quiet thanks.

If she got quietly drunk that night at the wake, no one said a word about it. Bodhi simply helped her back to the room she'd once shared with Cassian. 

The following morning, laying in her half empty bed and staring up at the icy ceiling, she reflected on her past three years with Cassian. 

No one had expected them or anyone else to survive Scariff, but somehow Bodhi Rook had managed to get an imperial shuttle and get them, two other ground troops, and the original crew of Rogue One off the planet. The losses at Scariff hurt, even three years later, and the names of the fallen had been carefully carved into the memorial wall on Hoth after the Rebellion had resettled here. Jyn and Cassian had been able to name every one of the fallen by heart.

When Cassian had told her "welcome home," he'd meant it. When they'd wed quietly, a year after the Battle of Yavin, it had surprised no one, certainly not Draven. Oddly enough, for all that the General had originally been antagonistic towards Jyn, he'd accepted the marriage in stride. Perhaps it was because Jyn wasn't under his command, or perhaps it was because of Jyn, Cassian seemed a shade more careful than before, because Cassian had another reason to live. Jyn knew he hadn't been faking his sympathy when he'd told her that Cassian was KIA, nor did he seem to pity her.

The decision to take Cassian's last name when they'd married had been deliberate. As proud as she was of her father and his word to give them a way to destroy the Death Star, the name Erso was both a blessing and a curse.

Between their different assignments, she and Cassian rarely had more than a few days together at a time during their life as a married couple, but they'd made the most of every moment, of every day that they'd had with one another. Jyn never had any doubts that Cassian loved her, and she knew in her heart that he never doubted her love for him.

After that night, she wore his ID tags under her shirt, along with hers, on their familiar chain. Occasionally the told metal would press against the kyber crystal she wore and would feel warmer against her skin. It let her think that Cassian was still there, a part of the Force, watching over her.

In the coming weeks, she was reassigned to a bunk with Bodhi, as quarters on Hoth were slim, and her former quarters with Cassian were needed. She spent a mere two and a half hours packing the remaining belongs that she and Cassian had accumulated over the past few years together and stowed them in her footlocker, then carried them to her new bunk with Bodhi and Baze's help. She would admit to Bodhi a few days later that it was easier to sleep in a room with someone else, hearing someone else breathing, even if it wasn't Cassian.

She spent a week on forced leave before she appeared, geared up and ready, in the hanger where the rest of her Pathfinder squad was preparing to leave on a mission. Kes Dameron gave her a look and took her aside for a few minutes. Jyn Andor was with the squad when they left Hoth.

Two months later, when the Empire found them, Jyn was off planet with the Pathfinders. When her squad renvedoued on an Rebel Alliance ship, she was thankful to discover that Baze, Chirrut, Bodhi, and her other friends had made it out alive. Cassian, Jyn reflected, would have been glad.

A year later, Jyn took part in the Battle of Endor, taking out the Storm Troopers stationed on the forest moon. When she witnessed the second Death Star exploding in the sky above, she knew that Cassian would approve. When the Rebels celebrated with the Ewoks that night, she missed his presence. When she stumbled on Bodhi Rook and Wedge Antilles celebrating, she grinned as she slipped off, unnoticed. If anyone deserved happiness after the past few years, it was Bodhi Rook.

She sat later with Luke Skywalker, watching the festivities and passing a bottle of whiskey between the two of them. Luke didn't tell her where he'd gotten the bottle, and she didn't ask. They both sat quietly together, each with their own grief, and content to know they weren't the only one they grieved during this moment of celebration.

Jyn would always regret that fact that Cassian hadn't lived to see this day. The end of the Empire, the goal that Cassian had fought for so long, was finally in sight.

But the job wasn't done yet, and when Jyn Andor awoke the next morning, she was ready to get back into the fight, and ready to see an end to this war.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war is finally over, and Jyn is faced with questions for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to Disney/LucasArts

_5 ABY_

Jyn gazed dispassionately at the news on the datapad in her hands. 

The Galactic Concordance had been reached. The war between the Galatic Empire and the Rebellion was officially over. The day that so many people had fought so hard for, and so many had died for, was finally here.

Jyn had existed in a state of war almost her entire life, and the idea of peacetime, particularly without the man she'd once intended to spend the rest of her life with, felt daunting.

Cassian Andor had been declared killed in action two standard years, one month, and sixteen days ago.

Jyn Andor was currently recovering from injuries sustained during the Battle of Jakku in a Rebellion medical war; injuries that she had half expected would kill her when she'd lost consciousness on the sands of Jakku. Fate, it seemed, was not that kind to her. Instead of joining Cassian in the Force, she was still here, and he was still dead. She tossed the datapad aside carelessly and stared at the beige walls around her, contemplating her current situation. When she and Cassian had married, they'd known there was a good chance one or both of them would not survive to see the war end. She'd expected it to be both of them. 

They'd never really spoken much about the future, they'd only hoped for it, in quiet whispers and caresses in the dark of night.

She had no doubt that Cassian would have wanted her to live and fight to see the end of the war, and so she'd kept on fighting, even as a little piece of her seemed to die every day. Now she was left to decide what to do with the remnants of dreams.

One breath in, one breath out, one breath in, one breath out.

Jyn glanced at her left hand and the plain metal band she still wore on her ring finger. She'd briefly questioned, one night when she'd been drinking with Han and too damned exhausted to keep such thoughts from slipping out, if Cassian would have wanted her to move on at some point. Right now, even two years later, she couldn't imagine loving someone the way she'd loved Cassian. Their relationship had been unique, and they'd understood each other in a way others wouldn't.

What she did know, though, was that Cassian would have wanted her to continue living. 

So that's what she would do.

Jyn sighed and let herself fall back on her pillow, feeling suddenly exhausted. The hope that had started as a spark now burned into a real and hopefully lasting peace. She wasn't going to be able to figure out what to do with her life overnight, but she did know she didn't want to join what would no doubt be the New Republic military. She wanted to do something where she could make a difference. This war had left scars on a lot of people, and her time with Cassian, her time with the Rebellion, showed her she wanted to continue giving people hope.

She must have dozed off, as the next thing she knew, her room door was opening to admit Bodhi Rook. Her brother-in-all-but-blood was giving her a look of concern as she let her eyes flutter open, idly noting that the sun had begun to set.

"Jyn, did you here?" Bodhi asked quietly, pulling up the chair next to her hospital bed.

"War's over," Jyn replied, managing a faint smile, even if it didn't reach her eyes. "Guess everything we did had some impact after all."

"I was more talking about your release," Bodhi replied, his brow crinkling a moment. His brown eyes held a mixture of concern and affection. "They're letting you out in the next few weeks."

Jyn had listed Bodhi as her next of kin, about six months after Cassian had been declared KIA. She briefly recalled the doctors mentioning release, but she hadn't been paying much attention at the time.

"Guess I'll have to figure out where to go then," she sighed. She shifted in bed, swinging her legs around, ignoring twinges of pain. She'd be due for another physical therapy session tomorrow.

"You can always come to Corellia with Wedge and I, if you want," Bodhi suggested.

Bodhi's destination failed to surprise her. Since Rogue One had returned to Yavin, and in the ensuing years, Wedge and Bodhi had grown particularly close, first due to their shared interest in piloting, and then more. She was frankly a little surprised they hadn't gotten married yet.

"I've got an invitation to go to Yavin from Shara and Kes," Jyn said, weighing Bodhi's suggestion. The problem with returning to Yavin would be memories of Cassian, but she wasn't sure she wanted to interupt her brother's first few months of peace with Wedge either. "I still have a few weeks to decide, I'm not sure right now though."

"Well, even if you go to Yavin, you're always welcome to come visit us too," Bodhi advised. "We'll always have a room for you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Jyn promised.

They fell into a casual conversation then, Bodhi telling Jyn about the plans he and Wedge had once they were settled on Corellia. Wedge wanted to adopt a few kids at some point in the future, and Bodhi was certainly willing. There would be a lot of war orphans. It made Jyn think back to her own childhood, and all the years she'd spent wondering if her father were dead. The war had made Cassian an orphan even younger than she'd been. How many others had shared a similar fate? How many more faced an uncertain future now that the war was over? 

Kids out there, she thought, kids that perhaps she could help, if only a little.

She found herself smiling at that thought, even as she nodded in agreement with Bodhi's plans. Cassian would have liked that, helping out war orphans.

Bodhi glanced up as a nurse came in with Jyn's evening meal, the reached out and squeezed her hand. "I should probably go find something too," he said. "But I'll be back to visit tomorrow. Wedge should be getting in tomorrow afternoon, and I'm sure he'll stop by too."

"I'd like that," Jyn told him.

After Bodhi left, Jyn ate her dinner, rather than picking at it the way she had over the past few days, and then managed to make her way, with some help from a nurse, to the communal refresher on this floor for recovering patients. She'd have therapy sessions early tomorrow, so she planned on reading a bit, then going to bed.

She managed to drift off that night, feeling perhaps a tad more happy than she had in awhile. She'd been focused on survival and fighting for a long time. She missed Cassian, she wanted him back, but she couldn't let that keep her from trying to live as well.

She awoke and dressed carefully, again with a little help, the next morning, and after breakfast, when her room door opened, she expected to see the nurse ready to take her to physical therpay.

Instead, her eyes widened at the sight of General Draven himself, looking much older than she last remembered. There was an odd glint in his eye as she saluted him. 

She was not prepared for his next words.

"Lieutenant Andor, I've received new information about Captain Andor's wearabouts."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rogue One and friends make a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to Disney/LucasArts

Two weeks after Draven had appeared in Jyn's hospital room, they met off base, in some private residence that Draven had given them the location of. Jyn was somewhat surprised at how helpful Draven was being, but she wondered if it was just in part because Cassian had evidently been alive for the past two years, and Draven hadn't known.

Draven hated being in the dark about anything. It could be he was just helping them to spite someone, but right now, Jyn knew they needed all the help they could get, so she would play along.

She and Bodhi slipped in together, unobtrusively, for all just looking like two friends who were visiting someone.

As they entered the apartment, Draven stood near a window looking out at the busy streets beyond. Without looking up, the General asked, "Were you tailed?"

"Someone tried to follow but we lost them," Jyn replied confidently. Even still recovering from injury, she hadn't lost all of her touch. She glanced around the rather functionally finished living room. It looked like the apartment of perhaps an office worker, someone who spent the day pushing papers and then came home to their spouse and kids and was in bed by 21:00 local time. She was vaguely surprised that Baze and Chirrut were already there, sitting next to one another on a couch, Chirrut looking perfectly serene and Baze eyeing Draven with some suspicions.

"Alright, Draven, what is this all about?" Jyn asked as she moved, with a bit of stiffness, towards one of the empty chairs. 

Draven held up his hand, still glancing out the window. "Much as I would prefer not to involve them, we are waiting for two more people."

Jyn lifted her brow as she watched the General's expression. It was tight, and if she hadn't spent time around Cassian, learning to read people, she might never have caught the air about Draven: a man who was doing something only because he absolutely must, one who was not enjoying this, but would do anything to fulfill his duty.

Someone must have gone over Draven's head in all of this, Jyn thought, feeling none of the satisfaction the thought might have once brought.

After several minutes, the door opened again, admitting Wedge Antilles. Jyn's eyebrows shot up and she glanced at Bodhi, who gave her a slight shrug, indicating he hadn't expected his fiance here either.

Wedge gave Bodhi a wry look as he came to stand beside the other pilot.

Draven glanced over his shoulder at the man as the door slid shut, and Jyn saw a sour emotion flicker through the General's eyes as he turned to face them all completely. 

Wedge gave Draven a look that said he'd rather not be dealing with the man either.

"Alright, General," Wedge said in clipped tones. "Tell us what you know."

"We're looking at an extraction mission," Draven replied in a strictly professional tone, meant to hide his mixed feelings on all of this, Jyn realized. "Three weeks ago it came to my attention that one Captain Cassian Andor, previously declared KIA, was in a deep cover position within the former Galatic Empire."

Jyn felt poleaxed by the announcement and frankly stared at the General in shock. How could all of this occurred and he hadn't known? He'd been the head of Rebel Intelligence.

"Believe me, Lieutenant Andor, I do not like admitting this aloud," Draven addressed her in tight voice. "According to my resource, someone on the inside got to Captain Andor after the Imperial authorities believed him dead. He was not truly dead, though close to it. This person managed to smuggle his body out under the guise of disposal. After some time in hiding, Captain Andor was reinserted into the Galatic Empire and has remained in his current position since, transmitting data that was integral to blackmail certain parties to force them to take part in the peace talks. Now an extraction is needed before the remaining former Imperial forces that we can track either disband or disappear."

"There a particular reason you've gathered all of us to tell us this?" Wedge asked, his voice sounding vaguely skeptical, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Certain recent events, and the peace treaty, have left some of my normal resources tied," the General replied. "This mission would be entirely unauthorized."

"You really do hate all of this, don't you?" Jyn asked softly. "The fact that someone knew and didn't tell you. But you and I have never entirely gotten along, General, why come to me now?"

"The former crew of Rogue One has a far more personal stake in this issue than anyone else," Draven said. "I do not have to like this, but your team has shown previously that they are compentant."

"We're not exactly quiet," Baze rumbled, finally voicing his own opinion.

Draven smiled thinly. "This involves a facility that is supposedly empty, and forces that are supposedly already disbanded. If it were shown to be otherwise, it could provide useful...leverage on certain people."

"Blackmail, you mean," Baze replied bluntly. 

Draven didn't answer, but he didn't need to.

"Jyn and Bodhi are officially leaving the military, and Baze and Chirrut were never officially part of it," Wedge mused, realizing Draven's reasoning. "So you can send them and if something happens, look the other way. They take all the risk. But if they're successful and don't draw a huge target on themselves, you benefit, with, leverage, as you put it."

Draven, ever the consumate asshole, Jyn thought. She glared at the General for a long moment then said. "I'll go, for my own personal reasons."

Draven nodded in acknowledgement, meeting her gaze. They shared a look of people who sincerely disliked each other, but shared a similar endgame goal.

Bodhi sighed. "Well, if Jyn's in, that means I'm in." He glanced up at Wedge apologetically.

"When do we leave?" Chirrut asked, and Baze merely sighed.

Wedge's gaze narrowed as he watched Draven. He, of all of them, might be risking his future career, because he'd intended to stay on in the New Republic Navy. Finally he spoke. "We'll take the information, Draven, but we're doing this ourselves, we are organizing the details."

Draven's face was a mask as he nodded. "I believe we can work with that, Antilles."

When they left quietly, in pairs or individually, some hours later, Jyn only hoped that they would all come out of this alive.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we find out what Cassian has been up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to LucasArts/Disney
> 
> Apology to my readers, the past few weeks have been topsy turvy. I am sorry I cannot promise weekly updates, real life being what it is, but I will update when I can (at least once a month, hopefully more frequently)

Captain Thiago Eldwood of the Galatic Imperial Army clasped his hands behind his back as he moved through the mostly empty halls of the base he was currently stationed at. 

The Galatic Empire, as the galaxy had known it, was no more. After the battle of Jakku and the Galactic Concordance, it was being dismantled to give way to the New Republic. Many of the members of the former military were either being carefully screened to join the civilian population, or being held for possible war crimes. The entire thing would be a mess of epic proportions, and not something that the Captain really wanted to contemplate.

This particular base remained unknown to the reforming Republic government, and the remnants of the Empire were counting on that. Forces were being sent off, very quietly, into the Unknown Regions. What they would do there, Force only knew.

The Captain really did not wish to be among them.

Captain Thiago Eldwood was, in truth, Captain Cassian Jeron Andor of the Rebellion. His death had been assumed by the Rebellion a little over two years ago, and there were some days that Cassian was surprised he was still alive. Some part of him still didn't entirely understand the events that had brought him to this position.

Cassian had been captured while on a routine mission and imprisoned. Before the Empire had a chance to interrogate him, Cassian had taken his lullaby, fully intent on dying. He'd hated it, but that was the life of a spy, and he knew too much, he could not risk the Empire interrogating him, or worse, having one of their Force users sift through his mind, so he'd taken the only out he knew he had.

He'd lost consciousness, blackness taking him.

But then something had happened.

What he learned later, as much as the hooded figured who had recovered his body had told him, as that the Empire had believed him dead, and had tossed his body aside like trash to be incinerated. This stranger had found him and, through the Force, sensed some life still left in his body. They'd made a decision, then, this Force user who technically served the Empire, to save him.

They'd taken him somewhere in secret and revived him. But there were complications to the revival. Cassian had suffered a certain amount of damage to his mental facilities as a result of the lullaby. The Force user had done what they could. His brain was functional again, but there were gaps in his memory, and also resulted in some damage that caused headaches that could be almost incapacitating. There was a blank in his memory, of the past three to four years before the incident that brought him to use the lullaby, that he could not recall. The Force User had told him quite bluntly that he was lucky he hadn't lost more. They'd tapped into a side of the Force that Cassian really wasn't familiar with, and something he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know more about.

The chance, this strange hooded figure had told him, had been too good to pass up. This Force user had been trained by the Emperor, but they had reasons of their own for hating him and the Empire. Using their clearance and surprisingly good forgery and hacking skills, they'd created a new identity for Cassian, again for reasons of their own, and had placed him somewhere that he could transmit secrets to the Rebellion through heavily encrypted channels.

They'd also warned him that should he break deep cover before they brought the Empire down, the consequences would be very grave.

Cassian was a spy to his core, and he knew, no matter the personal cost, this was an opportunity that the Rebellion would not be able to pass up. While he knew he was missing something vital from his memory, he fell into the role, as he had so many times before, and emersed himself completely. 

He'd uncovered and transmitted vital information, he knew, that lead to several strikes against the Empire. The Rebellion knew they had someone inside, but they perhaps didn't quite know who.

Now, though, the time for his cover had come to an end. There was a chance if the New Republic did find this place, that he would be swept up in an arrest of Imperial officers if he didn't find a way to slip out first. So he'd watched the troop shipments meant for the Unknown Regions, and planned his own escape.

Then came a surprise visit from his original savior. Well, not a visit, per say, but a message. To this day he still didn't know what they were, other than what he assumed was Sith. They'd always worn a mask over their features, and armor that made it impossible to tell if they were male or female. He'd been informed of a timeframe that his escape would come, former Rebellion forces who had a vested interest in rescuing him. And that time had rapidly approached.

There were few members of the Imperial military left in this installation, so the ex-Rebel forces were choosing their timing well, he thought. He'd been creating minor inconveniences for those left here for the past few days. He'd instigated another, this time involving power in various parts of the installation, just a few hours before. He glanced up, watching the lights, waiting for them to flicker. He'd coded it carefully so that it appeared power was being lost in random sections, but he'd programmed the pattern himself, and he knew when and where the power would be out next. He'd started this days ago, small at first, just a one random part of the base losing power for a few minutes here and there. 

The power flickered off, and he reached to his side, pulling out a pair of goggles he'd requisitioned for this very reason. With the quiet evacuations, the quartermaster wasn't paying as much attention as they should to equipment these days. Once the infrared goggles were on, he continued on his path through the halls.

The explosion that racked the walls wasn't entirely unexpected. He'd been warned at least one member of the rescue team was fond of demolitions.

In the darkness he heard shouts and alarms going off. Meanwhile he mentally calculated the source of the blast, and headed in that direction, seeing some shapes of Storm troopers moving through his goggles. When he fell into a run beside them, no one questioned him, he was an officer after all.

He fell behind them, letting them take the frontal assault as he heard the beeping of a grenade being launched through the breached security doors of this hall. He held back, seeing shapes moving through the darkness after the grenade had gone off, four shapes with blasters, and what looked like an assault cannon, tearing through charging Storm troopers.

Cassian unholstered his blaster and took the chance, shooting one of the troopers remaining near him in the back, at the chink in the shoulder armor. He ducked behind rubble, taking cover as he shot at two more troopers.

The lights managed to flicker back on as the smoke began to clear. Lucky coincidence, he thought. He pulled the goggles off as he glanced around his cover, and noted the Rebellion symbol on the shoulder of one of the four individuals, a small dark-haired woman. Something flickered in his brain, but he couldn't quite place it. He dropped the blaster and held his hands up.

"Cassian!" the relief in the woman's voice, and the expressions on the three men with her were palatable. "Force you've got a lot of explaining to do, but lets get you out of here first."

The three men with her greeted him quietly as they jogged him back towards a shuttle, stolen imperial shuttle from the looks of it.

Minutes later, when they were free and clear and jumping to hyper space, the small woman stood in the cargo bay of the shuttle, arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him. "Where the Kriff have you been, Cassian? Two years without any contact? I thought you were dead!"

She looked torn between anger and joy, and Cassian wasn't quite sure how to react.

One of the men, a quite olive skinned man with the look of a pilot and goggles perched on his forehead frowned. "Cassian?"

Cassian frowned. "I seem to be at a disadvantage. You seem to know me, but I do know recognize you."

The looks of shock that met his words told him something was very wrong indeed.

"What do you mean you don't recognize us?" the woman demanded, crowding him. "I'm your WIFE."

He stared at her.

"Oh Force, he really doesn't recognize us, Jyn," the pilot said, worry creasing his brow.

"Something is very wrong indeed," one of the two older men said, his eyes a milky blue. "The Force is unsettled around him."

The large older man just grunted, but Cassian could see worry in his expression as well.

"You're Cassian Andor, right?" the woman demanded.

"Yes, Captain Cassian Andor, Rebellion Intelligence." 

"Well, Cassian Andor, my name is Jyn Andor, Rebellion Pathfinder, and your wife of three years," she replied, her eyes wet, but no tears fell on her cheeks.

"Well kriff," Cassian said.

And then he fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I used that tired old trope. But I told you Cassian had a good reason!
> 
> As to who the mysterious Force user is, I'll leave it up to you who you think it is, but there are some pieces of the EU you can pry from my cold, dead fingers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Jyn deal with the aftermath of his rescue, and must debate where to go from here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to LucasArts/Disney

Cassian stared at the bland gray ceiling above him. His head ached and he felt as if he'd been run over by a ronto. Over the past 72 hours he'd undergone a thorough debriefing of what little knew knew of his mission before he'd been captured, and then his past two years serving as a spy while posing as an Imperial officer. Dravan had been less than pleased by a few of his answers regarding his miraculous survival, but Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, both of whom insisted in attending the debriefing given the circumstances of Cassian's survival, had exchanged a few looks, and Luke had nodded several times during the session. When all was said and done, he'd told Cassian he might wish to examine Cassian in the future, of Cassian was willing.

For now though, the doctor who had also insisted upon attending given Cassian's memory loss and same miraculous recovery, had declared it was best to allow Cassian to at least be placed on indefinite medical leave, if not retire all together, from military service. He'd suffered grievous brain trauma and was still suffering from the effects. While it was clear his body's functionality was not decreased, there was still the amnesia to deal with. When, or if his memory ever came back fully, Dravan would wish to question him again, and no doubt Cassian would attend more debriefs over the next few weeks regarding his time on the Imperial base, but right now he was ordered to rest and recover.

The doctors and therapists he was seeing felt that being around what would have once been familiar would help, and Jyn Andor had volunteered for that purpose. Since they were legally married (and Cassian had hacked the official records the doctors had refused to let him see and confirmed Jyn Andor, once Erso, really was his wife), they would be sharing quarters on base. While Jyn had originally intended to accept complete discharge herself, it had been arranged for her to take a desk job with the New Republic Army. It guaranteed an income and access to quarters near the New Republic Base and hospital on Chandrila.

Cassian had been released into the care of Baze and Chirrut, people who even Dravan told him had been a close friend before Cassian's disappearance, while Jyn finished up some arrangements for their 'new' home. Bodhi Rook was with them, and told Cassian apologetically he could only stay another day or so, then he and Wedge Antilles would have to leave for Corellia. 

Wedge, Cassian remembered, at least in passing. He'd been one of the pilots in the Rebellion and had defected from the Imperial Academy.

"Be at ease," Chirrut told him. "Everything will sort itself out."

Baze snorted. "Did the Force tell you that?"

"Yes," the blind man replied, unphased by the disbelief in his husband's voice. 

When Cassian had pleaded exhaustion, feeling just a bit overwhelmed, Baze and Chirrut had pointed out the bedroom to him and advised they would stay until Jyn returned. Evidently, they had an apartment nearby, as someone, probably Leia, had pulled strings.

Cassian could hear them talking quietly as he lay on the bed (large enough for two, he noted), while his mind ran through the chaotic events of the past few days.

He was free of the Empire, no longer undercover, and with that came some mild relief. But that was coupled with the uncertainty and anxiety of knowing he'd literally lost years of his life. At some point during those missing years, he'd fallen in love with a woman enough that he'd married her, while they were both actively serving the Rebellion. 

He couldn't and didn't deny the physical attraction. Jyn was beautiful in her own fierce, small way. She struck him as occasionally prickly, and Bodhi had admitted to Cassian that when he and Jyn had first gotten together, Jyn had carried a lot of trust issues. 

After the debriefing, Leia and Luke had taken Cassian aside with the doctor's approval and given him a very abbreviated version of his history with Jyn and the crew that called themselves Rogue One. Knowing that Jyn's father, Galen Erso, had been both instrumental in creating the Death Star and instrumental in giving the Rebellion the keys to its destruction, and Jyn's own induction into the Rebellion, he could understand why she had trust issues.

The next few weeks, if not months and years, was going to be very trying for the both of them.

He shut his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep, thinking perhaps the oblivion of sleep might help settle his mind, if only a little.

He must have dozed off, because the next thing he remembered was waiting to the bedroom panel door sliding open, and seeing Jyn standing there, silhouetted by the light from the living room. He lifted himself up on one arm as he blinked against the bright light.

"Cassian?" she asked quietly.

"Here," he replied softly. "Tried to get some sleep."

"If anyone's earned sleep, it's you," Jyn said in a wry tone as she stepped further into the room. "How are you feeling?"

"Head still aches a bit," Cassian replied with a sigh. Looking at her pale and drawn face, Cassian found he didn't like knowing he might be the cause of it. "Are Chirrut and Baze?"

"They've gone home," Jyn replied. "Thought we should have a few days alone, evidently." She sat on the edge of the bed with her hands in her lap, clearly trying to keep herself from reaching for him.

Cassian took a deep breath. "So you're my wife. Is it just you and I?"

She nodded. "No kids. We talked about it, but we didn't want children until after the war. Then again, I don't know how good of a parent I would be. I effectively lost my parents when I was eight...you were six."

He nodded, thinking about those painful years, so long ago. "Neither of us have had it particularly easy."

Jyn smiled a little. "No, we've basically been fighting all our lives."

He tilted his head. "Will you tell me how we met?"

There had been some debate on how much he should be told, but given that he'd gone two years without remembering anything, and they weren't sure if he would remember anything without something to trigger it, Jyn had made the decision that she would answer his questions as best she could.

She smiled, again a little wryly. "We met when you rescued me from an Imperial prison transport...let me tell you about it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian finds himself ill at ease in civilian life, and frustrated with his lack of progress on regaining his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to Disney/LucasArts

As Cassian paced the length of the Andor living room, he reflected on the fact that the living room alone was larger than most quarters he'd ever had while serving the Rebellion. He should be happy to have so much room. The two bedroom apartment he and Jyn occupied wasn't huge, but with bedrooms, refresher, living room, office, and kitchen, it was larger than anything he'd lived in that he could remember. 

Even with all that space it felt as if the walls were closing in on him.

Cassian could never stand to be inactive. Even during downtime with the Rebellion, even when recovering from injuries, there were reports to give or read, there were missions to plan, always something to keep his mind occupied.

Jyn had spent the first six weeks at home with him, familiarizing him with the city and simply living their lives, both of them trying to adjust.

It felt awkward, knowing that this was a woman he'd legally wed, something he knew he wouldn't do unless he was truly in love, but someone that he could not remember. He would often get a sense of deja vu with her doing common, everyday things: when they ate dinner together and without thinking she would reach out and take a bite off his plate; in the evening when she would sit beside him on the sofa and he would tentatively put an arm around her shoulders and she would turn her face into his neck to inhale his scent, and a thousand other small things.

Yet none of them had lead to any concrete memories. He felt as if he should know her, but he didn't.

He had no appointments today, no one he was meeting with, and no set schedule. He felt the desperate need to be doing something, but he wasn't sure what. With parts of his memory shot, he'd been fully discharged from the military, and trying to figure out the best way to transition into civilian life eluded him.

He was still wearing a line in the carpet when a chime at the door surprised him. He moved cautiously since he wasn't expecting anyone, and years of paranoia didn't easily leave you. He felt himself reaching for a weapon that wasn't on his hip, and pressed back against the wall before using the wall unit to see who was outside. 

At least when he had asked Jyn for the camera mounted outside their door and the accompanying alarm unit, she hadn't batted an eyelash, she'd simply asked for his advise on what features he wanted before having one installed. He'd immediately changed the codes the manufacturer had installed on it when the installer had left, sweeping it for any viruses and software that might spy on them, then installed his own firewalls and updated the passwords to ones he would remember, then carefully shared the codes with Jyn.

She hadn't seemed to find any of it weird, and for that he was thankful.

He was rather surprised to see Senator Leia Organa-Solo on the other side of the door, without an entourage, but with a small Ben Solo on her hip.

Cassian typed in the access codes to let her in. Leia Organa he remembered, Leia Organa he trusted.

"Hello Cassian," Leia greeted him pleasantly, watching as he resealed the door and reengaged the alarm system, though she didn't seem particularly disturbed. "The Senate is in a recess and I thought it would be a good time to come check on you. I really haven't had the chance since you were...recovered."

There was a wealth of words unsaid in that pause. As Leia took a seat on one of the couches and settled Ben into the corner of the couch with a plush bantha and blanket, Cassian considered her. He had known Leia for years, and there was a familiarity there that he did not have at this time with Jyn. 

"I'm frustrated," he sighed, brushing dark curls back from his face. "I am at lose ends. I cannot remember my own wife or some of my friends, I cannot adjust to civilian life, and I don't know where to go from here."

Leia was one of those few individuals he could be completely honest with.

Leia nodded, seeming to have expected his answers. She reached out and took his hand sympathetically. "Hopefully the memories will return with time. Until then, Cassian, you have a chance that few people ever get, to really live again. You've been through so much trauma, it's time you got to experience some joy."

"I want to, but I find myself hitting a wall, every time, feeling a sense that I remember something for just a moment, only to have it slip away," he replied quietly.

"It's been three months," Leia noted. "Without a lot of progress. But perhaps that is because you are trying too hard."

"Am I?" Cassian queried. "What am I supposed to do but recover my memory?"

Leia smiled. "Well, first it would help if you had something keeping you active. Jyn is working a desk job, and as much as she may hate staying behind a desk, she's good at sorting though the cases she does, and is better at connecting with people than she's willing to admit. You need something that you can get into, dedicate a part of yourself to. That's one reason I'm here."

Cassian tilted his head up, intrigued now. 

"I've got a bit of a pet project," Leia admitted, easily intercepting Ben as he tried to roll off the couch and pulled him into her lap where he toyed with her necklace. "It's a charity, to help take care of those left orphaned by the war." She met his gaze seriously. "You know what many of those children have been through, you will be sympathetic to them as others many not be. I want to put you in a position to help organize the charity, help guide my project into an organization that can really help those who need it."

Cassian sat back quietly, considering. It was a job offer, one that would allow him to work on a cause that would be close to his heart. It was a civilian job, more importantly, and one that did not require that he regain all of his previously lost memories.

It was a chance to make a change, and an opportunity that would keep him from sitting here and dwelling on his inactivity.

"I would be honored," he told Leia.

She smiled brightly, and he saw a bit of the tiredness so common in mothers with young children fade. "Thank you, Cassian. If you come to my offices tomorrow, we can get started." She touched his hand again with hers. "I also have another bit of advise, if you're willing to take it. You will regain your memories when you regain them. You cannot speed up the process by trying to force it. But even now, you feel comfortable around Jyn, don't you? Around Baze and Chirrut?"

Cassian paused for a moment, mulling over how he felt around the crew of Rogue One, as they were called, and nodded slowly. "I do. I feel awkward, that I should know them better, but I do not feel entirely uncomfortable. And Jyn...she's very stubborn, very firy, overly blunt, often runs ram-shod over things, but she does things because she cares, because she thinks what she is doing is for the best."

Leia smiled gently and nodded. "Build on that, Cassian. Instead of trying to focus on getting memories back until your head aches, build on what you have now. Make new memories. Make a new life with Jyn and among your friends. I'm not saying give up, but I'm saying it might be time to redirect your efforts, at least for a bit." 

Leia spent another hour in the apartment with him, giving him insight to current events, telling him about she and Han and Ben were doing. When she embraced him as a brother, and he said farewell to her and Ben, he promised her, "I'll try your advise. It is better than beating my head against a wall."

"That's all I can ask," Leia told him before she left.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian finds his place in this new life, and he and Jyn make a little progress

"I don't know how you manage to deal with senators day in and day out," Cassian murmured to Leia as the two of them, along with two discrete bodyguards, settled into a skycab and headed back towards Leia and Han's apartment.

Leia shrugged lightly. "I dealt with this mess before the Empire was overthrown, I deal with it now. Less has changed than I would like, but it is still progress compared to the rule of the Empire. Any progress is progress these days." She glanced curiously at him as she brushed non existent dust off the front of her formal green gown. "Speaking of progress, how are you doing?"

Cassian sent Leia regular weekly reports regarding the charity, and while Leia was involved in any way she could be, the day to day running of the charity fell to him.

Cassian gaze out at the city as it whizzed passed, taking a few minutes to formulate his thoughts. "Better, I think," he said. "Adjusting to peace has been difficult, but the charity, this cause, has given me something to focus on." He smiled slightly. "I've always done better when I have a focus."

"That's one reason I asked you to head it up," Leia told him. "You know what it is like to be an orphan, and you have an honest desire to help them. You also have a very sharp mind, and you know how to read people and can often uncover information that might be useful."

Sifting through information, reading people, these were skills that had served Cassian well in his years in the Rebellion. He was happy that these skills had translated well into civilian life as well.

"I think we may have attracted a few more interested parties today," Cassian mused. He'd spent the date dealing with Senators and others with Leia, being introduced to politicians and others that might be able to further his cause and donate to the charity. 

"I think we will attract more if we hold some sort of gala," Leia told him. "I know you hate putting on airs, but I think a formal gala and dance will be the best way t attract wealthy donors. I know a number of people who we can put on the guest list, and have other friends that can help."

Cassian made a face. He would rather spend his time collecting information on orphanages on the various planets and finding opportunities to invest in their future, but Leia was right. If the charity was going to really get off the ground, they would need wealthy donors.

"I can get Han to clean up long enough to attend, and Lando can help," Leia mused. "Jyn will hate getting dressed up, but the two of you will make a very good picture together. Two war heros? A number of people will come just to see the two of you, and that will help attract more donations."

"Jyn will definitely despise it," Cassian sighed, thinking of his wife.

His wife, a woman he still could not really remember, but a woman he found he was growing rather fond of in the time they spent together.

It was clear to him that Jyn remained stubbornly hopeful that he would somehow regain his memories, but just as stubbornly hopeful in making their relationship work now. At times he felt despair at what he had lost, but Jyn was always there, and somehow always seemed to manage to pull him back.

It was no wonder, he thought, that he must have fallen in love with her to begin with.

"How are you and Jyn?" Leia asked quietly.

Cassian shrugged. "We're...making things work. We sleep in the same bed, we spend time together. We're affectionate with each other."

"Have you had sex yet?" Leia asked bluntly.

Cassian flushed a bit. "No...it's never seemed quite the right time."

"Does she seem willing?" Leia pressed.

"She's expressed her attraction to me but she hasn't tried to initiate anything," Cassian admitted.

"She's probably waiting for you to do so," Leia said dryly. "It's been five months, Cassian. Are you attracted to her? Do you like her?"

Cassian blinked. "I..." He paused and collected his thoughts again. "I can see what attracted me to her in the first place," he said at last. "She's beautiful, she's full of life. And I do like her, very much. She's been very careful with me, and it is obvious that she cares."

"So ask her," Leia told him. "Try a romantic gesture, see how it goes."

Cassian wasn't entirely certain that Jyn was the type of woman that would appreciate flowers, but, he decided, he might take Leia's advice in some form or another.

It certainly seemed worth a try.

~~

A delicious smell floated through the apartment as Jyn stepped through the front door after a long day on base. She could hear someone singing in the kitchen and identified the voice as Cassian's. He was singing in Festian, as he had sometimes when preparing meals for her on base.

She smiled, sliding her jacket off and headed towards the kitchen.

She found him leaning over the stove, what looked like a stew simmering on the stove top. Stew was common on Fest, with as cold as the planet often got.

"Hello Cassian," she greeted him, letting the smile remain on her lips.

She'd rarely seen him relaxed in the five months since they'd been reunited, and she liked the sight.

They were both frustrated with his lack of progress in remembering their time together, but Jyn had personally decided that even if he never remembered how they met or their past together, she would focus on their future. He was still the same man she loved, his brain was just a bit scrambled, and if he could love her again, well, it would be worth it.

Jyn was stubborn to a fault, and sometimes it served her well.

"Good evening, darling," Cassian replied, turning away from the stove long enough to lean down and brush his lips against her own.

Jyn pressed her fingers against her lips for a moment and felt a warmth spread through her.

It had been so long since they'd really kissed.

"How was your day?" Cassian asked as he turned back to the stew.

"Long," Jyn replied. "Yours?"

"Productive," Cassian replied. "Leia wants to hold a gala to attract more donors though, formal occasion."

Jyn scowled faintly. "That means dressing up and showing ourselves off, doesn't it?"

Cassian nodded, his expression sympathetic. "Yes...it would be good for the charity though." His expression was warm. "And I wouldn't mind showing you off either."

Jyn lifted a brow, but she smiled again. "Well...for you I'll do it."

Cassian set the spoon he held down and turned the burner down, then slid an arm around her waist. "Thank you, Jyn."

His lips hovered mere inches from her own, and Jyn decided then she very much wanted to kiss him again.

Cassian sighed in pleasure as Jyn pressed her lips firmly against his own, her arms locking around his neck. He couldn't remember when they'd first time this, but the motions felt very right.

Jyn felt right in his arms.

Jyn deepened the kiss, her tongue sliding along his own, and by the time they pulled back Cassian found they were both breathing a little heavily.

"Jyn?" he asked. He could feel the warmth of her body pressed against his own, and he wanted to feel more.

"Cassian," Jyn replied, her tone heated.

Cassian turned the burner off. "I can always reheat it later."

Jyn paused a moment, cupping his cheek in her hand. "Are you sure, Cassian? I don't want to pressure you."

"Jyn, I am still very much attracted to you," Cassian said. "And I find over the past few months I've come to care for you, a great deal. Even without my memories, you seem to know me far better than anyone else." He pressed his forehead against her own. "And yes...I want this very much."

The smile Jyn gave him was blinding, and he felt his heart beating just a little faster at the look.

"Then come with me," Jyn almost purred and took his hand, leading him back towards the bedroom.

Cassian went willingly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares resurface and Jyn and Cassian find comfort in each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to Disney/LucasArts
> 
> What is this, two chapters in two days?

Gentle night settled over them like a blanket, little sound filling the apartment but the breath of two sleeping forms in a tangle of blankets and each other's limbs. It had been years since they'd slept this way, but even in sleep Jyn and Cassian had always gravitated towards one another. Tonight instead of just reach towards one another, they were locked in a lover's embrace.

Jyn had fallen asleep with an ease she had not felt in years, with the feel of Cassian's arms wrapped firmly around her. It was am embrace, she thought as she slipped into sleep, that she never wanted to be bereft of again.

In the darker hours of night, dreams came to them both. In Cassian's case, they were less than pleasant.

Images played through his mind, a desperate climb, a fall, the feeling of pain sparking through his body. A beach filled his dreams, sand hot beneath the soles of his boots as he dragged himself towards Jyn.

Fire flickered in his mind, the smell of the very air around them burning, thoughts of these being his last moment with Jyn...

Cassian came awake with a silent scream, his hand searching for a moment until they found Jyn, her body curled up against his own. His movement awoke her, and she pulled up, staring at him with wide eyes in the dark.

It hadn't been the first time he'd had a nightmare since the rescue, but it had been the first that she'd been so entwined with him. Jyn saw a look of panic flickering in her husband's eyes and pulled him to her, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "It's alright, Cassian, it's alright, you're home, with me.:

Cassian wrapped his arms around Jyn, pulling her firmly into his lap as he breathed slowly, calming himself with the touch of her against his bare skin, and the solid weight of her in his arms.

"What were you dreaming about?" Jyn asked after several minutes had passed, lifting her eyes to his.

Cassian frowned at that, as the images came back vividly in his might, and his hold on her tightened. "A beach...pain, a fire, you in my arms," he said at last. He heaved a sigh of frustration. "I feel as if I should know where it is, what it is, but all I remember is the panic of the thought that I would lose you."

Jyn's eyes widened a fraction.

"Scarif."

Cassian frowned slightly, recalling the name from his file. Scarif, Rogue One, a miraculous rescue and survival.

He didn't know whether to feel more panic, or relief that he was evidently remembering something from his life, even if only in his dreams.

Cassian let out a deep breath, pressing his forehead against Jyn's, his arms tight around her. "What I do know from that is that I cannot lose you, Jyn."

"What, like I lost you?" Jyn quipped. She smiled tenderly at him, catching his hand in hers. "I don't blame you for what happened, Cassian, or for out time apart. This gives me a little hope, that your memories are still in there somewhere, rattling around in your head. We just need to figure out how to unlock them. If K-2 were-" She broke off, and he would swear a light was flashing brightly above her head.

"K-2! That's it!"

Cassian frowned slightly. "My droid?"

Jyn nodded. "You backed up his files, just before the mission to Scarif, so he would remember me, he'd remember what lead up to Scarif, even if he doesn't remember Scarif itself. I still have the disk you backed him up on. We were just never able to restore him during the war, we never had the right droid model. But now that the war's over, maybe we can get a K-2 model."

Cassian could remember his time before Jyn entered his life, and could remember first reprogramming the droid, and that K-2SO had been through with him. Jyn's idea wasn't without merit, and it was certainly worth a shot.

Jyn smiled when he nodded. "Good. I might be able to procure something through my contacts on base, or maybe Wedge and Bodhi can."

"I can see what some of my old contacts have available," Cassian replied. He squeezed her hand. "It might not work...but it is worth a shot." His expression softened. "Even if it doesn't work, though, Jyn, I want you to know I am happy here, with you." He took a breath and let the words that had been bubbling in his mind out. "I love you."

Jyn swore her heart stopped for a moment, her eyes going wide in surprise and tenderness. "I love you too, Cassian. I never stopped loving you." Then she drew him back down onto their bed, and Cassian was content to let everything but the desire and love between them go for the moment. The rest they could look into, in the morning.

~~

Jyn had made several friends during her time with the Rebellion, but very few of them knew the art of dressing for formal occasions as Leia Organa-Solo did. That was why she found herself scowling at an array of dresses in an exclusive boutique with Leia. The boutique only took customers by appointment, which allowed them give excellent personal customer service towards each individual client. That was the major reason that Leia had selected this store, knowing that the last thing Jyn would want would be to be examining and trying on dresses in front of a bunch of people. 

Instead it was only Jyn, Leia, and two employees.

"Surely there is an easier way to do this, Leia," Jyn groused as she eyed the selections the employees had brought forth for her.

"This is the only way we're going to get the kind of quality gown we need for you," Leia told her firmly, 'Without having one custom sewn for you." She pursed her lips at the selection of dresses and pointed to one in a pale green. "Not that one, I don't think the cut would work well on her."

Jyn signed and regarded the dresses. "I don't want anything short," she said, eying two of the selections. 

Leia clicked her tongue lightly then nodded. "For a formal gala I think you're right. But maybe something shorter for a date night with Cassian, later." She moved through the rack of dresses, making comments under her breath that Jyn couldn't quite catch until her hands fell on one long, jade green gown, sleeveless with a high neck. The skirt floated out from the waist, presenting a pleasing and classic form.

"This one," she told Jyn firmly.

Jyn frowned at the dress. She'd never worn anything that nice, even during missions with Cassian. But Leia seemed quite sure, and she knew better than to argue with the Princess. She let herself be lead into the dressing room and carefully slipped the dress on, regarding herself for a long moment in the mirror.

"Come on Jyn!" Leia's voice demanded outside the dressing room.

Something would definitely need to be done with her hair, Jyn thought as she stepped out into the salon and let Leia see the dress. But the Princess had been right, even if Jyn didn't feel like admitting it aloud.

Leia smirked. "Perfect. Cassian is going to love this on you."

Jyn found her own lips turning up a bit at that thought.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jyn's dress  
> https://www.popsugar.com/fashion/photo-gallery/36581692/image/36581734/Best-Actress-Felicity-Jones


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Jyn put on smiles to help find donors for Leia and Cassian's cause, and then see if they can resurrect K-2SO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars is owned by LucasFilms
> 
> And many thanks to (Hermione) Rae for pointing out a couple edits that needed to be made!

Jyn's gaze swung easily about the room, measuring those she saw coming and going, considering those who were merely nibbling on rich pastries and drinking alcohol, and those who were engaged in conversation with the various senators, politicians, and other influential personalities in the New Republic. She'd learned how to maintain a very good pazaak face during her years with the Rebellion, and all the various guests of this fancy party saw was a beautiful woman with a polite smile and expression.

Jyn heard footsteps come up behind her, and from memory knew they were Cassian's. He'd spent perhaps the past half hour mingling with the guests along with Leia, drumming up more interest in their charity to assist the children left orphaned by the Galatic Civil War. 

Han wasn't here, not that it entirely surprised Jyn. This place wasn't his style... it wasn't hers either, but there was much she was willing to endure for Cassian. When Jyn had quietly inquired, Leia had replied in a biting tone that Han Solo evidently felt he had important shipments to see to, verses joining his wife at the venue.

Han and Leia were like fire and water, Jyn thought. They worked well together, but only for so long until things exploded again. She sometimes wondered about the strain on both of them, about the strain on their son Ben.

She and Cassian had just fallen into sync so easily with each other, even now when he could not remember their relationship from before his rescue. Their were sparks of passion, and she let her lips turn into a faint smirk for just a moment at that thought, recalling the first evening they'd made love again, for the first time in years, but the passion did not overwhelm their ability to complement each other. 

Bodhi said that Cassian and Jyn moved like a couple who had fought together their entire lives.

Her smile brightened beyond the polite smile she offered the guests when Cassian slid his arm through hers. She felt the warmth radiating off his body, and noted absently that they made a very striking picture together, he in black on black and her in her jade green dress, her dark hair force once twisted into an elegant updo.

“This is probably one of the first times we've ever been dressed up willingly for an event together,” Jyn told him in a low tone. 

Cassian looked thoughtful and nodded. He was aware they hadn't had a normal wedding, since it had been in the middle of a war, even if he couldn't really remember it. “My guess is we have never really had the opportunity to dance together for fun, have we?” he asked. He turned to face her as Jyn became aware of the lovely music playing in the background.

Cassian took her hand and kissed it lightly. “May I have this dance, my darling wife?”

Jyn managed not to flush, but only from now years of practice, but her gaze softened. “I would love to.”

Cassian led her to the area designated as the dance floor, and slid his arm gently around her waist as she rested one hand on his shoulder.

And they danced.

For a few minutes, Jyn let herself forget the politeness they were forced to display for people who may or may not really care about orphans. She knew a few of those here really did care, but there were just as many who had merely come for the food and drinks, and to be seen.

But none of that seemed to matter as she and Cassian swayed about the dance floor. They'd never gotten a proper dance at their wedding, as low key and quick as it had been, during one of the few days they had in between missions.

She found she rather liked dancing with Cassian, and from the light in his eyes and the smile on his face, she knew he felt the same. 

“I am a lucky man,” Cassian whispered to her as his hand rested on her hip. “I do wish I remembered more, but I feel as if we've built something between us, these past few months, something I will never willingly give up.”

“We have,” she assured him, squeezing his shoulder lightly. “I love you too, Cassian.”

How easily those words came to her lips now, as they hadn't years ago, when she and Cassian had first met, had first formed a partnership between them.

“I'd like to do this more often with you,” he murmured.

“I hope you do mean the dancing and not the fund raising,” Jyn replied, quirking a brow.

Cassian chuckled softly, knowing how thin Jyn's patience was wearing with some of the guests. “I do,” he replied. “I hope we will not need to do this often. I would rather actually do something useful than entertain donors.”

“Or those who just wish to see what there is to see, and have no intention of helping out,” Jyn added.

“That too,” Cassian replied. He glanced almost reluctantly towards Leia as the song ended. “Ah, sadly our moment of peace has ended, and Leia is beckoning us over.”

“When we get home, I will kick off these heels, and you and I can really dance,” Jyn replied.

“I look forward to it,” Cassian replied, sketching a slight bow to her before offering his arm, and leading her back into the fray.

~~

The following morning was, thankfully, one that Jyn did not have to report to her desk on base. She awoke slowly, aware of the feeling of the sheets against her bare skin, and the press of Cassian's body against her own. She smiled, letting her eyes flutter open as she lifted herself up on her elbow, letting her gaze wander the length of Cassian's body where the sheet had slipped down.

He murmured in his sleep, is tone far more pleasant than the nightmares he'd had recently. She leaned over, intending to kiss him when her holo chirped at her. She thought about ignoring it, but when Leia's name flashed across, she sighed and rolled out of bed, grabbing a robe and slipping it on before she answered.

“Good morning Jyn, sleep well?” Leia greeted her, a smile flickering over the other woman's face. It was late morning, and Jyn could tell Leia had already been up for several hours. The other woman looked down right chipper as she sipped on caf, her hair perfectly arranged and dressed for a day of politics.

Jyn glanced back through the bedroom door where Cassian still slept and smiled. “I did.” She lifted a brow. “But you didn't call me to ask about that.”

“Straight and to the point as always,” Leia acknowledged. “You did better than I expected at the gala last night.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. “I have learned some things over the past several years, Leia.”

“So you have,” Leia acknowledged. “Along with several potential donations that will keep Cassian busy for awhile, an old contact of mine that was at the gala came through with some interesting information regarding droids.”

Jyn's expression was suddenly intent. “Droids of a specific model?”

Leia nodded, her lips curving into a pleased smile. “Indeed. If you and Cassian agree, we can have it delivered in the next few standard weeks.” Her brows creased together a moment. “I believe I've convinced Han to stop on Bespin on his way back to pick it up.”

“I'm not going to ask how this droid was acquired,” Jyn decided. “I for one care more about results than means.”

“I thought you might,” Leia replied. “I'll let you know when Han is due to arrive then.”

Jyn let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you Leia.” 

As the other woman disconnected, Jyn set the holo unit down, thinking. 

“I hope this works too,” Cassian said from the bedroom doorway.

Jyn turned to meet his gaze, her green eyes fierce. “It will work, Cassian, it has to, and you'll get your memories back.”

She saw some of the uncertainty in his gaze, and remembered how Cassian had never let his guard down completely, around anyone but her. “And if it doesn't, Jyn?” Cassian asked softly. “Will that change this? Us?”

Jyn closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, her gaze never losing it's determination. “Cassian, there will always be an us, memories or no. I love you.”

She felt him sag a bit against her, feeling the tension slowly leaking out of his body. She tilted her head up and kissed him. He leaned into the kiss, his arms tightening around her.

“I love you too Jyn.”

"We'll get our dawn yet," Jyn promised him, convinction absolute in her voice.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> K2 is resurrected, a stranger makes an appearance, and the dawn finally comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars belongs to LucasFilms
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left comments, feedback, and kudos, for much of my inspiration comes from my readers.

Baze gazed dispassionately at the large, long legged, black droid laid out on the living room floor of Jyn and Cassian’s apartment in lieu of a proper table to store the droid on. He lifted his gaze to Jyn as she paced the length of the small kitchenette, and then to Cassian who knelt on the floor with a penlight and in one hand and a tool in the other as he worked to repair damage to the droid’s form.

Chirrut appeared to be the only truly calm one, but then Baze had watched Chirrut walk calmly into a crowd of firing death troopers. 

“You will wear holes in your floors, Jyn,” Chirrut said, listening to the clack of Jyn’s boots on the tile. 

Jyn shot Chirrut a look she knew he couldn’t see, but he seemed to sense it, and only smiled at her exasperation.

Her eyes flickered back to Cassian as her husband leaned over the droid’s body again. There’d been a lack of functioning K2 models available, as many of them had been scrapped by the Empire before their defeat. Thank the Force Han’s contact had managed to find one in semi-decent condition. Cassian had been working on the droid in any spare time he had for the past week to get it back into working condition.

Today was the big test to see if K-2SO’s backup files would function in this new body. Jyn felt her shoulders tense again, thinking of all the things that were riding on this.

Finally Cassian glanced up towards her, warmth and hope in his brown eyes. At that look, Jyn came to kneel on the other side of the K2 droid with him while Baze crossed his arms and watched, his lips quirking into a slight smile. “Ready?” Cassian asked, meeting Jyn’s gaze.

She laughed, just an edge of nervousness to the laughter. “I should be asking you that.”  
Cassian pulled the data chip containing K-2SO’s backup out of the breast pocket of his shirt and carefully inserted it, then closed the droid’s panel, and powered the droid on.

Seconds ticked by, feeling like hours to Jyn and Cassian, and then the droid body began to twitch.   
Quite suddenly the K2 model sat up, his voice carrying as about as much snark as K2 always spoke with. “Cassian? Why am I on the floor, and why are you crying?”

The droid jerked his head towards Jyn, who had tears of relief streaming down her face. “And Jyn Erso. I see you have continued to attach yourself to Cassian. Why do you and Cassian cry? And this does not look like quarters on a Rebellion base. Where are we?”

“Oh K2,” Jyn sighed, the utter relief on her face confusing the droid. 

“Your original platform was destroyed on Scarif,” Baze’s voice rumbled. “You distracted the Imperials to allow Cassian and Jyn to complete their mission, but your platform was destroyed and the remains left behind. Jyn has spent some time looking for a new platform for you over the years.”  
Cassian looked torn between relief and shock. “He knows you,” he said softly, in a voice Jyn almost couldn’t hear. “Everything…I think..I need to sit down.”

“Cassian, you are already on the floor,” K2 replied to this, having picked up on Cassian’s words. Mild concern entered the droid’s tone. “Your heart rate is elevated, as is your blood pressure. Do we need to take you to a medic?”

“No, I’m fine K2, really,” Cassian laughed weekly, shifting to sit rather than kneel on the floor. He was clutching Jyn’s hand tightly. 

“Cassian was captured a few years after you were destroyed,” Jyn explained to K2 as she squeezed Cassian’s hand. “He nearly died, lost part of his memory, and worked as double agent for several years.” She sighed. “We thought he was dead.”

K2 seemed to be processing all of this and noted the rings on Cassian and Jyn’s hands. “You married prior to the incident that lead to his memory loss,” the droid conjectured, and Jyn nodded.

“I,” Jyn paused then when she noted that Cassian looked paler than normal and turned to her husband, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Cassian? Cassian are you alright?”

“Dizzy,” Cassian murmured, pressing his forehead against Jyn’s. “My head aches. And I feel suddenly overwhelmed. All these thoughts and images I don’t recognize. I-“

Jyn barely had time to catch him before he passed out.

~~

“Just shock,” the gray haired doctor they’d called to look over Cassian when he hadn’t regained consciousness assured them. “He’ll come round within the next few hours.” The woman wiped a bit of medical gel off Cassian’s forehead that she’d advised them had been necessary to run a full scan. “Sooner rather than later I suspect. But don’t hesitate to contact me directly if he hasn’t come to by this evening.”

“Thank you, Dr. Elaiza,” Jyn said, her eyes flickering to Cassian.

“Perhaps it will even help things along,” the medic said cryptically. “Take care, Andor.”

As the gray haired woman turned to leave, Jyn missed the looks exchanged between the doctor and Baze, and the flicker of recognition on Baze’s expression. Chirrut too seemed to watch the woman, for all that he couldn’t actually see her.

Jyn did here Chirrut mutter softly to Baze, “That was interesting,” as they saw the good doctor off.

Jyn sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out to take Cassian’s hand in her own while K2 watched from a corner of the room.

“So he does not remember meeting you, or Scarif, but you and he have forged a new relationship,” K2 mused as he watched Jyn. “He was rather attached to you from the beginning. My calculations told me you had a 94% change of him falling in love with you.” K2 shook his head a little sadly. “Ah meatbags, their emotions do cloud their judgment sometimes.”

Jyn shot K2 a look and the droid seemed indignant. “Do not look at me that way, Jyn Andor. You proved prior to Scarif you were capable, else I never would have been willing to sacrifice myself for you and Cassian.” 

Her expression softened. “Thank you, K2.”

The droid muttered something about the strangeness of humans, but Jyn turned her attention back to Cassian. She was a little surprised to see his eyes flickering open so soon, clearly having some issue focusing at first, but then zeroing in on her face.

“Jyn? What happened, are we safe?” Cassian frowned, looking around their room and his shoulders slumped a bit. “We’re safe..you rescued me from, wait, that’s not quite right.” Cassian shook his head and Jyn watched him in concern.

She was certainly not expecting the huge smile that lit her husband’s face as he pulled her into his lap.

“Oh my Jyn,” he whispered in her ear. “So much you must have suffered after my capture. I will never leave you again.”

Jyn stared at him. “You-do you remember?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

When Cassian nodded, Jyn began crying tears of joy for the second time that day. 

Baze and Chirrut were drawn by the noise to the bedroom door as Jyn and Cassian clung to each other, whispering to one another.

“Ah, it makes more sense now,” Chirrut said, smiling.

“Meddling Jedi,” Baze muttered as he slid an arm around his husband’s waist.

“At least it brought them the happy ending they deserve,” Chirrut protested lightly.

“I believe I shall leave the Andors alone for the moment,” K2 decided, moving from the room and back towards the main living room. “There is a 83% chance they shall wish to copulate.”

Baze pulled Chirrut out of the doorway and hit the wall unit to close the door behind them.

Left alone, tears of joy and laughter emitting from both of them, Jyn and Cassian paid attention to nothing else but each other.

Rays of sun flickered through the window before they pressed a button to draw the shades.

Their true dawn had come, chasing away the last of the darkness that had plagued them, and together, they would live in the light for the rest of their days.


End file.
